Dear Trevor,

It has been just over a year since I started this diary and many of the events that occurred in my life during the past year have been recorded and unfortunately some have not been (a hot guy just came into the office – I’ve lost my train of thought). I know it is already April but since I have not made any resolutions to date I will resolve right now to make a greater effort to keep a better record of my life. I’ve started entries several times and either simply lost interest or became distracted and put it off for later and never finished typing it and that has to stop so here is a paraphrasing of what I started writing the last time.

One of the reasons why I never write in here anymore is because I spend pretty much all of my internet time / typing energies in a yahoo chat room these days. It’s a gay Caribbean room and I am popular there because I basically make a lot of noise when I am there. When I turned 21 I not only changed the age that appears on my profile but I also changed my profession to ‘professional bitch’ because I am becoming quite proficient at bitching people who come into the room and say stupid shit. The regular guys who always come in and chat are really cool though so it’s always fun to be in there, well at least when part of the gang is there.

A couple of weeks ago somebody called me a player so I decided to write down all the guys that I had had any kind of sexual experience with to see just how slutty I was becoming and it turns out I was getting up there. It has not been a year yet and the total is up to 5 (plus one guy who I only kissed – doesn’t count right?). Between April 2003 and November 2003 there were 2 guys and since I came back in January I went from 2 guys in 6 months to 3 guys in 3 months – not good. I’m not bragging here because given my current situation just about anybody would be getting a lot more action than that. In any event the point is that I have decided to end the hookups until after I stop feeling so slutty.

Ok enough fun stuff let’s talk about school. I am soon to become a non-student. After I submit my last set of (shitty) assignments next week I will technically be done with this academic year since I have no exams to write and seeing as how all my assignments were pretty much shitty and all I have no confidence that I will even scrape a pass to advance into next year. That being said, in the more than likely event that I fail again I will not be returning to the program next year. The plan is to keep this job (in Trinidad i.e. away from home i.e. utterly depressing) for as long as it’s the best option and possibly return to school to do something else or complete my degree later. As much as I would like to further my education, not out of any desire to have a higher education but simply to become more employable, that is less than likely to occur as I do not now nor have I ever liked any facet of ‘school’ and do not foresee any change in the stance. Also my distaste for and lack of inclination towards everything associated with schooling greatly overshadows any desire I might have to delve into any of my other non-curricular interests formally. (I don’t know why I am using all these big words – I am going to have to get someone to proof read this for me to make sure it’s saying what I want it to).
Ok I think I have just exhausted today’s ‘concentration quota’ so I am off to the chat rooms again.

D
P.S. I just remembered that 2 nights ago on my way home a girl heckled me, I think in jest because girls just don’t do that plus the girls behind her laughed, as did I. I mean how many girls go “Pssssst………Sweet thing” to a random (not exceedingly attractive) guy on the street. My roommate says he gets stuff like that all the time but then again he has the assets to attract attention so I’m sticking to the ‘in jest’ theory.