I keep sitting down to write then getting distracted or something. Yeah i get distracted easily and plus since last Thursday my bro is officially done with school too so the 2 of us are here spending some quality time (i.e. i watch him use the computer and wait for my turn). Most of the time i like him but sometimes he can be such a bitch. at least we don't fight anymore. we are so opposite, he likes cars and violence and guy stuff and i like music and books and other arty stuff, but we still get along. we both like music (me more) albeit different genres completely but we still listen to music together and spend a lot of time laughin’ it up.
we've been planning to go to town and get started on learning to drive and a bunch of other things but if i'm gonna go to town i wanna be out of here real early and neither of us get up early enough so we've been home all week.

i spend so much more time online here than i did while i was in TNT but my diary is still suffering but for a different reason this time. The fact of the matter is that nothing happens here, i'm home alone all day.
that reminds me of something that happened last nite. so i'm watching fame right. i was home alone then my mom came home and we were talkin’ on and off so i don't know how 'out of the blue' it was coz i wasn't really listen to her just before she said this. but out of the blue she says "if he wasn't gay i would send you to send some time with my cousin Andrew in Spain". now in the back of mind i knew she didn't really mean it the way you are thinking right now but i still had to call her on it, that's just the way i am. so i say "why did you say that?" then i think she repeated herself so i asked why she wanted to send me there and she said well it's a good place to go for a visit. so then i ask her "what's the problem with him being gay?" so she said "well i don't want people to think you're gay too", "if you're there people might think you are too". i still know where she's coming from but i still want her to say it so i'm like "do i know anyone else in Spain" like ‘what's it gonna matter if spaniards think i'm gay’ (in my mind: enough lucians already think i am). so she says something like "i just want people to interfere with you" which i interpreted at the time to mean she doesn't want any bashers messing with her child (which is what i knew she was getting at from the begining) but as i'm writing this i'm wondering if she meant that she didn't want any faggets hitting on her child. Come to think of it I would love to see Spain.

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