i opened this and let out a big ole sigh when the page loaded coz i don't know what the fuck to say.

LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!

ofcourse its all my fault but who the fuck cares. ihonestly don't feel as whatever as i sound. i think i'm just kinda pissed coz i seem to be slipping back into my un-proactive state (i dont give a shit if that not a real word). btw my obdession with everything being spelt correctly etc. is half the fault of my mother who is the kind of person who types proper-grammatically-correct sentences with capital letters and punctuation marks in yahoo messenger and the other half is coz i'm just so picky and perfectionistic sometimes.
one of these days i'm gonna have to sit down and type up a rant about how frickin oxymoronic/paradoxial...i dunno just fucked up beacause i cant make a statement about myself that is always true.

what was i talking about?...scroll up...

oh yeah!. nothing.
so anyway i logged on today again coz i was just bored stiff (the stiff part lasting a couple mins and leaving on its own) looked for pics found porn but no art. will check my findings later. all while i have four more assignments due on the 8th of next month which i have not yet started and am clueless about all of the material. i planned to go to school today and learn prolog in the library but its already 2:00 and my blk ass is the same place it has been since i got done with my laundry this morning.

i also planned to go get my TNT ID card fri or today since my mommy's nice friend called the place for me and found out all i need is my birthcertificate and then my mommy sent it to me, so now i have it and i know where to go so its al on me and i haev not done it yet and if i dont get over this 'do nothing' feeling soon i will just end up not doing it at all. (as so many things go in my life).

ok so i was supposed to go meet with a online friend sat. but i chickened out/ toatlly forgot and then sent this message: sorry bout sat. - had to babysit - talk to ya later i mean how ucking lame and inconsiderate is that?

ok now that i've been on line for 3:24 hrs today that brings me up to 9:11 in less than a week and my self imposed quota of internet hours is 5 hrs a week seein as how i only have 20 for the month. ...what was i sayin? (see this is why i usually type this shit before i get online)..... i'm gone.

btw the title is an internal scream

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