sat 22

i had a grownup moment last night. i just made up that term- unlike a senior moment a grown up moment is when i feel like a grown up. i was cleaning up my stuff from the living room and i picked up my keys and since i associate the sound of keys with my father i kinda felt like a grown up - u know like i was somebody's daddy and cleanin up after them. this really sounds more stupid in writing. anyway i guess it goes without sayin that of course it reminded me of the pending doomsday otherwise known as my 20th b'day - countdown T minus 4 days and counting.

it also made me think about being somebody's daddy, of course in the regular context (i.e. w/o the sugar). i mean what is better than getting a spontaneous big sloppy kiss from tiny lips on your face for absolutely no reason at all, what could feel better than feeling a little person instinctively/reflexively cling to you in their sleep when u pick them up from in front of the tv to put em to bed.

i have not made a real entry in a while so i may not have mentioned that a got a new cam of my very own from a friend (this is me ignoring what happened on fri - if u still wanna know don't ask) and it has served to shed new light on an old truth - my body pretty much sucks (except for that one redeeming asset). i gotta remember to do more exercises.

so i cut my own hair today didn't do much i hope just made it a little neater. i've been meaning to go to the barber but i so loathe those places and now i have an excuse to tell myself to keep puttin it off since i want to spend as little money as possible until i have more than just-enough-for-next-month on my account.

i might be living (kinda) by myself soon coz one of FA's roommates is moving out soon and i want to move in there. hopefully it will provide a better working environment since by then it will be exam crunch time. my mom says its kool as long as i don't starve myself, which quite frankly i'm worried about too. dear God please let this work out.

...i really need to get all this shit out my life...

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