I hate these damn shoes. this time it's because i went to town to fedex my assignments to London. which also means ijust spent $200 that i don't have. why they gotta charge me 190 flippin dollars just to mail like 20 pages of crappy work. what a rip off. plus the ten dollars it cost me to get there and back equals way too much money. especially since i already told my mother that i submitted it through the school in which case i would not have had to pay to send it. so now i gotta ask for more money for next month ughh<---frustration

i finally found out about getting a US visa today and it looks like my black ass is not going anywhere any time soon. turns out i basically need a job or my parents permission and i'm most definately not getting either of them anytime soon and even if that were not a problem i certainly don't have $600 to pay for it, oh well perhaps in the next life i might actually have a life (but then i wouldn't need to be lookin to hook up with foreigners would i?)

only 12 more days left in the countdown but i think it's as depressing as before or maybe that's just coz i haven't been thinkin about it much lately

i think i've lost more weight again (which is quite possibly the most depressing thing to happen to me recently-i actually felt like cryin wheni thought about it). don't have a scale here so i don't know for sure but i was infront of the mirror but naked yesterday and i noticed how small my waist was compared to my chest and it seemed smaller than usual so i went and measured it. it's still about 26 but i might have lost like half an inch. Lord can't you see i don't have a half inch to spare??? i've started back doin those stretches from dance and plus i'm doing push ups and situps too. so far i've done enough so that my arms don't hurt the next day anymore but next week i wanna start doing it everyday - i figure if i write it down it might come true.

i started this entry when i got home some time after 3 but i went to sleep after the first paragraph then watched tv with my aunt and cousin and now i'm done.

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